I’m continuing my series today on the five lessons I learned in the last five years. (You can read part 1 and part 2 to catch up.)
Today I want to share how grieving takes us into a place of discovery.
I am not unfamiliar with grief. Anytime there is a loss there is some degree of grieving. I’ve experienced a few losses in my life that caused me deep grief but this time it had to do with a choice we made, which was to surrender.
I guess I thought if we surrender, God would bless us with a kind of peace that would be void of grieving. After all, Jesus said, “My Peace I give to you, my peace I leave with you.”
Grieving feels anything but peaceful.
We grieve because we’re disappointed. Something that was dear to us is taken from us. A death, a relationship ended, fired from a job, a home we loved, a church family, good health – any one of these can be taken from us.
Grieving is not the absence of peace. I had peace in the knowledge we were making the right move. I never doubted that fact. But I was not at peace within myself.
Let me take you back to the day we made our move south. The last box was packed and loaded into the 18 wheeler. My sisters, Becky and Fi, along with my nephew Gentry traveled with us to help us settle into our new home.
I’m forever grateful for their physical and emotional support during our transition. There was a sense of adventure as we crossed over the state line into Texas after three days on the road.
We drove in the long lane of our new home and began the task of unpacking. (In one day we had set up the house! Amazing!)
It happened to be a cold winter day in Texas which matched the feelings I had in my heart. I was starting to feel the reality of it all and I knew in a day or two my support was flying back to PA.
The feelings of adventure were over.
Like a dark cloud over me, I began dreading the goodbye. I stayed busy making the new house look like home.
After already spending a week together, we learned their flights were delayed because of bad weather. I was ecstatic! My happiness was short lived and two days later I took them to the airport, gave hugs, and said goodbye.
My emotions once again overwhelmed me as I made my way back to our new home.
I was grateful our move was behind us and I thought the new beginning would settle me emotionally. I was SO wrong.
Instead, we began grieving the life we left behind and began a new life of “being still.”
Being still is not one of my strong points! It all began to feel like a test of my endurance.
Each day Jonas and I would sit at our kitchen table to talk about it all. We prayed and reminded each other that God was with us and had a plan we couldn’t see. We were grateful for His provision and the beautiful home He provided for this quiet season of our life.
One of the fruits of the spirit is “long-suffering” which means to “restrain or patiently endure.”
Long-suffering took on a new meaning for us. It challenged us to exercise restraint and do nothing, which was opposite of the busyness of our life in PA.
We adjusted to our new life and began to learn new things about grief.
To grieve is to learn.
To grieve is to suffer.
To grieve takes endurance.
To grieve takes time.
Grieving is emotional and always hopes for a better day. Hope is a gift from God and reminds us, “this too shall pass.”
Everyone experiences grief but not everyone can work their way through it to a positive outcome.
To get through your grief you need the support of another human being. Find that person who listens and encourages. You need a voice other than your own to keep you moving forward. In those completely alone times keep talking to God and know He hears.
I had a book recommended to me called A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser. It was the information I needed to accept the process of grieving.
I recommend this book to anyone going through any kind of grief. Jerry writes about the inability of being able to grieve properly in this western society.
We don’t allow ourselves to stop, be still, and grieve.
Our tendency when we experience losses is to busy ourselves so we don’t feel the pain. I couldn’t agree more! That’s what I always did in the past – GET BUSY!
He helped me understand my experience with grief was normal.
Today I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned about grief. It has given me a greater capacity to weep with those who weep.
When you experience grief, remember to take the time to be still and experience it. And remember, you will need grace to get you to the other side of grief. Let grace win.
This article first appeared in Anne’s Weekly newsletter! To subscribe, click here. Each week, Anne sends a short inspirational email straight to your inbox. As a subscriber, you’ll also have first access to new events, books, and more! Click to subscribe.
