Do you ever feel alone? The kind of alone where you feel invisible everywhere you go?
This feeling is deeper than the temporary feelings of “aloneness.” This feeling alone comes when there’s been too much pain, and you disconnect. It could be a result of being rejected by your parents, siblings, close friends, church, school, business associates or even your spouse.
All of humanity experiences this type of alone to some degree during their lifetime.
Dr. Richard Dobbins says, “Alone we die, connected we live.”
Feeling alone does not mean I am alone; nonetheless, the feeling is real.
There are times when feeling alone is temporary and comes when we feel rejected by a friend who ditches you because of a misunderstanding or personality differences. Or we feel alone after moving to a new community or going off to college far away from all that you felt close to. Or we feel alone as we start a new job.
In any situation, as you dwell on the disconnect, you can begin to feel alone.
Deep feelings of sadness are often the result. We wonder why we feel this way when our lives are brimming with friends, family, work, and activities.
Recently I was with a group of people and as I was observing my eyes were drawn to a couple near me. I sensed a feeling of “aloneness” about them. As an encouragement, I went to them and just said, “You are not alone. Do you feel alone?”
They never answered the question, but instead, tears began to fill their eyes and roll down their cheeks. I gave them hugs, and as I did, I realized once again the power of connection.
I felt it, and they did too. If for only a moment we felt life, connection, and a sense that God was in that space.
Feeling alone is an ache that cannot be filled with something or someone. We can, however, be comforting to others who feel alone. When we’ve experienced the deep abyss of “alone” and discover that God is closer to me than I am to myself, we can comfort others in the same way we have been comforted.
I’m beyond grateful for those times when others came to my rescue. I was too alone to reach out. I was too isolated to feel God.
In the early days after Angie died, the intensity of feeling alone grew within me. I found great comfort during those days on my knees knowing God was with me. (Prayer had always been my go-to for any need I had.)
My feeling alone deepened as I entered the abyss of abuse which led me into isolation and I nearly stayed there for my entire life.
Every waking hour I felt alone and wondered why no one could see it.
I can recall when I first began separating myself emotionally from those I love. I was at a large gathering with thousands of people. I was standing on the very top row of the arena looking down on the crowds, and I felt like I was the only one there.
I felt alone. I felt afraid. I felt invisible.
The love of others overcomes the suffering of feeling alone. Those closest to you suffer your absence and reach out to love you.
I had a new thought recently. What if instead of fighting “feeling alone,” we embraced it?
Feeling alone is an opportunity to experience the nearness of God intensely and come to a deeper connection with Him. His comfort is given freely because He knows the depths of despair that come from being alone.
The truth is I am never alone because God is omnipresent, everywhere all the time even though we cannot see Him. His creation makes it clear.
Being or feeling alone can be a time of sweet comfort as you allow God to comfort you. I certainly cannot see God in those moments, but I can say with experience that I feel Him near.
When you feel alone, find a place for solace, instead of staying busy or ignoring it. Sit in the stillness of feeling alone. If it’s too hard to be still, call a friend and connect.
Sometimes I can identify why I feel alone, and I’m able to accept the reality or muster the courage to change what I can change. In time, the feeling subsides.
If you’re feeling alone, I encourage you to muster all the courage within you and reach out to someone you trust. Let this person know how you feel and what’s going on inside of you. Find freedom through sharing your struggles and wounds.